John Cal McCormick

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John Cal McCormick·Aug 4, 2022

Critic70/100

Agreement—

The lack of genuine stakes means that Two Point Campus never becomes truly gripping, but the easy, breezy vibe makes for an enjoyable, leisurely build-'em-up. It's the perfect management sim for newcomers or children or even fans of the genre who just want a palette cleanser between more challenging titles. It's the sort of game you play on a Sunday afternoon, still in your pyjamas, with one hand because you've got a Cornetto in the other. And we're totally okay with that.

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John Cal McCormick·Jul 7, 2022

Critic70/100

Agreement—

Phantasy Reverie Series is a relatively no-frills remaster collection. There's a couple of quality of life improvements and the games have a fresh lick of high definition paint, but if you didn't like Klonoa back in the day then you're not going to like it now. If you didn't play Klonoa at the time then you won't have the prerequisite nostalgia goggles necessary to gaze upon these games and see them for anything more than what they are - a couple of pretty good platformers and little else, and that's fine.

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John Cal McCormick·Jul 1, 2022

Critic70/100

Agreement—

The only issue we had with Yurukill was that it never felt like it went far enough. It's a compelling tale and it moves at a brisk pace, but it lacks the malicious edge of a Danganronpa or the brain-breaking narrative of a Zero Escape. By the time it's all said and done, we'd enjoyed our time with it, but we were a mite disappointed that it didn't push us harder.

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John Cal McCormick·Jun 8, 2022

Critic70/100

Agreement—

So we recommend Super Perils of Baking, it's a solid seven out of ten, and we promise, scouts honour, no word of a lie, we'll never do a review like this again.

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John Cal McCormick·May 18, 2022

Critic70/100

Agreement—

Swansong's biggest problem is that at times it's perhaps not as clear as it could be about what you're actually meant to be doing or how to bypass certain problems, and you'll find that it's trial and error that gets you through. There's also a couple of technical issues, including one in which we spent ages wandering around trying to solve a puzzle only to reset the game and discover that the solution to the problem hadn't loaded the first time around. Not cool.

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John Cal McCormick·Mar 30, 2022

Critic60/100

Agreement—

Tiny Tina's Wonderlands retains the inherently entertaining shootin' and lootin' gameplay that the Borderlands series is known for, but you're frequently held back from enjoying it because of repetitive missions, tedious busywork, oodles of padding, and the game's relentless need to be funny. It's characters won't shut up, frequently stopping you playing so it can perform another inane comedy routine that limply, embarrassingly fizzles out like a deflating corpse, farting decomposition gases to the tune of "Ta-dah!"

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John Cal McCormick·Mar 14, 2022

Critic60/100

Agreement—

Stranger of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin thinks that it's Daniel Craig's James Bond but it's actually Austin Powers. There's barely a moment in the game that isn't stretching credulity, be it the absurd writing, bewildering story, or inane characters. There's a host of technical issues, too. But somehow, despite everything, it manages to fail upwards and be a pretty good time. Maybe we've lost the plot but we liked it.

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John Cal McCormick·Mar 10, 2022

Critic60/100

Agreement—

There's no mechanics, really, to speak of. There's no combat for us to discuss. You can't even jump on command — only at specific places. Submerged is a chillout experience about exploration with a slight story and basically nothing else, and honestly, we're okay with that. Not everything has to be explosions or sad-times-my-kid-died-and-now-I've-grown-a-beard depressing drama. Pop on Submberged as a palette cleanser between more involved titles or as an escape from the horror of reality and you'll be fine. This is fine.

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John Cal McCormick·Feb 16, 2022

Critic40/100

Agreement—

There's an interesting story here and the horror-JRPG vibe is much appreciated, but whatever enjoyment they could bring you is utterly annihilated by the outrageous, egregious amount of grinding you'll need to do to see the game through. Monark is gaming reduced to a thick, treacly sludge to wade through, no cutscene or story beat or reward ever feeling like it was worth the struggle. Just play Shin Megami Tensei while listening to Nine Inch Nails and you'll have a better time.

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John Cal McCormick·Nov 5, 2021

Critic80/100

Agreement—

If we had to make a list of things that are totally radical then dinosaurs chasing and eating annoying fannypack-wearing tourists while we triumphantly hum the Jurassic Park theme tune would be top ten. Maybe even top five. We're here for that. Minor quibbles with the main campaign aside, Jurassic World Evolution 2 delivers an entertaining if simplistic park builder, that well-utilises the Jurassic World license, and throws in just the right amount of dinosaur-fuelled mayhem to boot.

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John Cal McCormick·Nov 3, 2021

Critic60/100

Agreement—

The story is slight, the acting is rubbish, and the special effects are merely effects. The synthwave soundtrack is actually really good. It lasts an hour and change which, like most Wales Interactive movie-games, is absolutely perfect. You probably already know if you think you're going to like this, and if you do you're probably right. We liked it, but mainly for the wrong reasons.

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John Cal McCormick·Oct 25, 2021

Critic70/100

Agreement—

Gameplay-wise, not much has changed since Little Hope. You'll spend much of your time walking about, inspecting objects, talking to people, making decisions, and taking part in quick-time events. The formula works, and the six or seven hour running time means that the rudimentary controls don't outstay their welcome.

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John Cal McCormick·Oct 4, 2021

Critic60/100

Agreement—

For existing fans, this no-frills remaster is the best way to experience the 2010 game on modern consoles, but in 2021, much of the title simply doesn't hold up. Without the benefit of nostalgia, Alan Wake doesn't work as horror because it's not scary, as a thriller because long stretches of the game are fantastically boring, or as an action game because the combat is uninspired and repetitive. There's an interesting central mystery here, but like Alan Wake himself, you'll have to go through hell to find it.

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John Cal McCormick·Sep 6, 2021

Critic80/100

Agreement—

F.I.S.T.: Forged In Shadow Torch is a stellar Metroidvania adventure set in a beautifully realised world, replete with challenging combat encounters, rewarding exploration, and some spicy platforming action. Rayton Rabbit might be of diminutive stature, but he's punching well above his weight here in what is one of the best games of 2021 so far.

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John Cal McCormick·Jul 27, 2021

Critic50/100

Agreement—

The story is slight, and possessed Dad – Jim Carver from The Bill for the 30-somethings among you – is more amusing than scary. The constraints of filming during a pandemic are clear – no two people are ever in the same room at the same time – and in terms of production values it's more school play than Hollywood. But Julie Dray is a sympathetic lead and the run time is barely an hour and change so it never has an opportunity to outstay its welcome.