Frigate spotted off the starboard bow, Cap’n! Ready the mortars, me hearties! Fire! All sail! We’ll split her in twain with the ram! She’s not done, swing around and ready the cannons! Fire! She’s dead in the water, bring her in for a steely kiss! These are the sounds of…
007 First Light is built on the bones of IO Interactive’s Hitman, and makes no effort to hide that fact. But it’s far from just Agent 47 in a wig and doing his best posh English boarding school accent. The section that properly convinced me of this, ironically, is…
I blast out of Tokyo, off into the countryside. At first, the roads run alongside waterlogged rice paddies, through flat and open country. Soon, though, I hit the coastal highway which winds its way over deep blue sea and past fishing villages. Carving north, I navigate snaking…
Excuse me, coming through. I’m Kazuma Kiryu, and I’m on my way to speak to some gruff yakuza lads about what their local gang war means for my orphanage. You can tell I’m serious because I’m riding a prototype segway dressed in nothing but a swimming cap,…
I am a baby, floating through space. A decade or so passes while I’m frozen in a pod, dead to the world. Clearly, though, all is not as it seems. Upon finally being rescued and thawed out, I’m given grave news. I’ve been diagnosed with consumerism. Read more
I regularly go against my best consumer instincts and check out the yearly iterations of sports games. It’s not something I’d likely be doing without some Steam press account magic letting me dodge the yearly cash sacrifice for a game that usually shares a huge chunk…
The motor carriage noisily trundles down a dirt track in the Sicilian countryside. It’s a beautiful evening or morning. I’ve lost track of which, and I’m too busy thinking to double check whether the pale sun overhead is rising or retreating. How strange it is…